New Poetry

Well, I’m really sorry I haven’t blogging much lately, but I’ve been kind of busy…. any way.. i just wanted to tell you that all of my poetry is now on one site that you can view it from… http://allpoetry.com/Esprit, but here are some of my favorite one that I have written lately…

Hating Myself (written February 7, 2007)

I hate who i was,
but I hate who I am,
I hate how when someone tries to love me
I close up like a clam…

I hate myself for what I did
and what I might do,
I hate myself for never stopping
to say I love you…

I hated to be with you
I hate that you’re not here,
and I hate that when I tried to cry
I could not find a tear…

Once again I hate myself,
but for what I didn’t do,
but most of all I hate myself
because I didn’t show my true feelings for you…

Lost + Alone (written February 9, 2007)

Lost and Alone
I am in this world,
In the corner of my room,
I have curled…

I am lost because
I don’t know where I am,
I am alone because
I closed up like a clam…

Everyone else has
somewhere they belong,
but in my life,
I just seem wrong…

Could it just be me
or could his sadness be
meant to be?

Hating Myself Part II (written February 9, 2007)

I hate how I lie to myself
to try and hide what’s going on
I also hate feeling,
that my life is gone.

I hate being there
and hearing everything wrong
I also hate not knowing
and wondering all day long.

But most of all I hate myself
because I’m not who I’m supposed to be
I’ve lost myself and now I’m hopeless
because I’ll never know the true me.

another phase

Well, for quite a while I have been really depressed… and I admitted alot of my past to my mom thinking it would help…… well it didn’t. It just made things somewhat worse. So one of my good friends Jeremy, helped me figure this out. I figured out that I had tried to push God out of my life and fill the hole with other things, but they wouldn’t fit and that made me depressed… so i talked to our youth minister and he helped me alot, so i repented and cast the demon that was depression, out of me…. and now I’m not depressed….. yay, that phase is over..

and also.. while he was helping me through Jeremy quoted parts of this song called “I Need You To Love Me” by Barlow Girl to me… which is one of my faves…. it’s a really great song….

Avatars

Just some weird avatars that i’ve found and i’ll be sure to update it every once and a while.

How to make a Esprit

Ingredients: 5 parts intelligence 1 part self-sufficiency 1 part beauty

Method: Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Serve with a slice of sadness and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

(added January 14, 2007)

How to make a Victoria

Ingredients: 1 part pride 3 parts self-sufficiency 5 parts instinct

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little caring if desired!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Christmas

•December 26, 2006 • Leave a Comment

Well, just to say, i had a great christmas.. i was extremely happy because i got to spend time with my family, but in the way of gifts, i got a light saber, Kingdom Hearts II, a whole but-load of books, a gift card to barnes & noble, a gift card to Hot Topic, a gift card to JC Penny, a really cute shirt, an mp3 player, an i-fish and alot of other stuff that i can’t remember. well hope you had a great christmas and that you too remembered the real reason for the season,…………..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS

Weird yet Funny Animated Videos

•December 24, 2006 • Leave a Comment

here are some i thought were funny

Kingdom Hearts on Crack

•December 24, 2006 • Leave a Comment

There are many others but i chose this one because it didnt’ have as many cuss words, this one only has like one,…. im sorry please excuse it,…….

How I feel

•December 22, 2006 • 2 Comments

well, lately there’s been a lot of drama happening around me and this poem symbolizes how I feel,….. I do seem to get lost in my own mind sometimes but sometimes like now it feels like the only place i can call home where i am really and truly wanted. Well, back to the point here’s my latest poem,…… so please read and tell me if you feel the same way

“Invisibilty”

Sometimes bad things happen,
And I wish I were gone
Sometimes I just wish I could be seen
Like the dawn.

I feel so invisible
And no one knows I’m there
But when I am visible
Is when my heart begins to tear.

No one can see me,
I feel so alone
In this world of hatred
My heart is becoming stone.

Kingdom Hearts Chronicles

•December 21, 2006 • 1 Comment

IDK this is just something a friend told me about and I thought it was quite funny so enjoy…..

Another 1 of my moods

•December 21, 2006 • 1 Comment

Ever have one of those days where everything just seems to be going wrong, well i write alot of poetry,……… so here’s one I wrote that same day that the thing with my sister happened,

“What’s Lost”

Why am I here?
I don’t matter anymore
And all of the darkness
leads to one door

My heart is broken
it is no longer found
my love is lost
and my life now abound

I hate being where
I am not seen
because in times like this
I have no shoulder on which to lean

My mind is alive,
but my heart is dead
cold and forgotten,
my tears have been shed.

My life is gone
there’s no light left to see,
and all I have left
is my dear memory.

Trust me I’m usually not this depressing, but sometimes I write depressing poetry cause it’s the only thing I can think of. so yeah hope you liked it…

Sisters

•December 11, 2006 • 1 Comment

Well, today was Wednesday and the last day before Christmas holiday, your supposed to have fun, but mine wasn’t…….. we had a band concert, which i sort of hate now, anyway the thing about my sister is that i’m sitting by myself and my ex-boyfriend (aka the albino) walks up and asks why I am so sad, well my sis is on the other side of the gym and gets the wrong idea (that we are arguing) so she comes all the way across the gym and tells me to get my books and go sit with her, then she taps my ex on the shoulder and starts cussing him out………… How wrong was that? There is something wrong with older siblings, when you need them they aren’t there but when you don’t they usually step into your life and ruin it… the BIG problem is that i was working on being friends with him after he broke up with me and now since my sister threatened him he isn’t speaking to me as much………….